My girlfriend won't look at me. I could cry every minute.
We did it before. Can we do it now?
I don't think so.
You put a kid in hospital.
I couldn't stand the way she was fucking looking at him.
I love him, Cook.
Sentence set for two weeks from today. Take him down.
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- Ready? - Teeth?
All clear.
Right, let's get to work then.
Please, Dad, I'm too young to die.
Shut up, kid.
I'm your son, your only son.
Saml
Hiya, love.
Dare I ask what you're doing now?
Are you leading a busy lifestyle?
Not enough time for a full work-out?
Don't worry, cos Fitch Fitness has got the answer.
Yeah!
The new concept in fitness that gives you a full body work-out in just...
Five minutes!
The HyperFitch Machine! Don't get Fitch...
Get HyperFitch!
That's great, Rob!
Any chance you could invent a moneymaking machine
while you're at it?
You're looking at it, love.
Are you girls off to work?
Someone has to.
See you in a bit, yeah?
Laters, lover.
Er, Rob?
Yeah?
Where's that bolt go?
What? Oh, shit!
- Agh! - James!
Things are cool, aren't they, Mum?
Between you and Dad?
Of course, Katiekins! Nothing for you to worry about.
How unreal do I look?
Amazingly unreal.
Dean is going to come in his pants when he sees me.
Brandy!
Baby!
You look unreal.
I'm sorry I'm late. My colonic overran.
Jenna, have you talked to OK! About covering the wedding?
Unfortunately, Vivienne, they insisted they only cover premiership do's.
Excuse me?
I mean, negotiations are still ongoing.
Wonderful.
Now,
we also want a gaggle of swans, 100 doves and a trained owl.
An owl?
To bear the ring.
These will be expensive extras.
Jenna, I promised Brandy the wedding of her dreams...
...and that is what she'll have.
I'm sure you'd want the same for Katie.
Look, I'll sort out the hen night and you just deal with the owls and stuff, OK?
Daughters, eh? What would we do without them?
Don't know!
See you tonight, and don't forget the theme, sluts and studs.
Sluts and studs.
Well, come on then.
That's you.
Now, Katherine, your home tests were coming up correct, you're not pregnant.
Thank God!
What's up with my periods then?
Your results show that you're going through something called...
...a premature menopause.
Oh, right.
Shit!
I can't imagine what you're feeling.
Not being able to have children... Well, it isn't a nice thought, is it?
Especially at your age.
What are you talking about?
Katherine, the menopause prevents you from ovulating.
Which means you won't be able to conceive babies.
What? Ever?
But there's pills for that, right?
I'm afraid not.
I know this is a lot to take in.
Would you like me to call your mum?
Well?
Have I got you knocked up?
Thank fuck! That would totally not be awesome.
You can pretty much fuck off now.
What's with the mood, sugar titties?
Leave me alone.
Kitty Kat, stop kidding round.
Do I look like I'm kidding? You're dumped.
Fuck off.
Broke my fucking toe.
Goodbye, Sam.
Katie!
Hi, this is Emily. Can't come to the phone right now but leave me a message.
Bitch!
You're in the wrong account.
- No, sweetheart, I can assure you... - Mum.
"The Fitch Fitness account has been empty... '
This has nothing to do with Fitch Fitness.
I use our family account and we are not bankrupt.
'I'm sorry about this, give me a moment to look into it.
'Do you know your password? '
Look, you know, I don't have time for this.
I'm trying to run a business here.
So why don't you just get it on your stupid screen and sort it out?
'It says here you've been informed on numerous occasions.
- 'Have you had any letters? ' - No, we haven't received notification.
No nothing, zilch.
'Mrs. Fitch, you are not eligible for any more loans
'and you've exceeded your overdraft limit.'
Arsehole!
- 'Are you referring to me? ' - No, not you.
'Hello? '
Mum?
What are those?
Deep breaths, Jenna.
Deep breaths.
Mum?
Honey, we're home!
Mum?
Babe, we're back.
Mum!
The nurse said that I have an unusual fascination for the female anatomy
and that I should consider a career as a gyna...
Gyna...
What's the word, Dad?
Gynaecologist.
Something you want to tell me, Rob?
Don't you dare run away from me, don't you dare!
You stupid, stupid person.
- You bastard, you're a fucking coward. - I was going to tell you.
- You're a fucking coward. - It's not my fault.
We are so finished. Consider yourself divorced.
You arsehole! You ruined everything! You fucking bastard! Stupid, stupid...
What's happening?
You'll be all right.
Everything's going to be fine.
Don't you dare make out like I'm the one in the wrong.
Just calm down, love.
I'm gonna burn your "Gym of the Year" certificate.
- What? - What's going on, Mum?
Is Dad coming back?
We'll talk about it later.
You need to concentrate on doing a good job for me tonight, OK?
We've got a lot riding on this wedding now, sweetheart.
Let me look at you.
Perfection.
Katie! This is Candace, my BFFE.
Nice outfit! Sorry about the change of theme.
Candy surprised us all with these.
Soz, hun. I was going to get you one but I didn't know what to put on the back.
Another shot, Brands? WTF, Cands.
Here we go, a toast to my new boyfriend, Danny Guillermo.
To husbands, handbags and holidays!
Danny's told me about you.
I figured you'd have bigger tits. They're like Danny's favourite thing ever.
- He never complained. - Not to your face.
So, you got a new man now then?
Brandy, Baby, I am paying Katie to work, not to socialise.
Sorry, Mum.
Our table is finally ready, girls.
My darling daughter has been blessed with her looks
and what God didn't give her, my plastic surgeon did!
Brandy, sweetheart, beautiful...
I am so proud of you.
You've grown up to be a sexy, arousing woman.
And what with the wedding, and now the baby,
you've just exceeded all my expectations.
What baby?
Mummy, it's a secret.
It's better for people to know, than think you're a fatty.
Girlies, will you please raise your glasses
and toast my angel, daughter and grandchild bearer!
To Brandylicious!
Brandylicious!
Now, let's all get completely wrecked,
give them paps something to print tomorrow!
Hiya, Babes.
You having a rave? Rave and a half.
I'm so angry Mummy told everyone I got knocked up.
Yeah, I bet.
Oh, I'll have some of that.
You do know you're not supposed to drink when you're pregnant?
Don't care, and I don't think you can talk to me like that.
I'll do what I want.
You're in my way. Move.
Katie!
What are you doing here?
You cool?
Have a drink with us.
Is that a joke?
Katie, I'm... You haven't changed.
I can see straight through you.
Likewise.
Never going to let that smile falter?
Only when yours does.
Sweetheart, I've run out of fags.
You'll need to run along and go and get some more.
One, I'm not your fucking maid.
Two, I don't work for you, so you'll have to go and get your own fags, sweetheart.
Stupid bitch.
Rudeness!
Swallow or spit, girlfriend?
How dare she? Who does she think she is?
Who the fuck do you think you are?
I'm Katie fucking Fitch. Who the fuck are you?
Come on, princess, that's enough for one night.
Get off me!
Look at yourself. You are disgusting.
You are an embarrassment.
Sack her, Mummy.
You and your useless mother are fired. Get rid of her.
Come on, sweet cheeks, don't mess with them.
I don't smoke.
What you scared of?
Uh, cancer?
Fuck it.
Steady.
You didn't inhale properly.
Breathe in.
Now breathe in again so it goes there.
Why are you being nice to me?
Life's too short.
You are such a fucking cliche.
So what's it like?
What's what like?
Love.
Great.
It's really lovely.
That sounded convincing.
It's fine.
Nothing's ever perfect, you know?
I thought it could be.
I wanted the perfect boyfriend, perfect marriage, perfect everything.
What's changed?
Me.
I don't know who I am any more.
I thought you were Katie fucking Fitch!
I used to hide in the bath when she was angry.
I've really messed up, kiddo.
Yeah, but you love each other, right?
For richer, for poorer.
Kids...
it seems that your father has let us down once again.
Jen, please.
He's been selfish and stupid.
- Mum, stop it! - I suggest you keep shtoom, young lady,
considering you've lost us the only income we had.
Because of his stupidity, this house...
our home, is being taken from us.
Today.
Tell your children what that means, Rob.
It means we're homeless.
That's right, it means we're homeless because of your dad.
I tried to save the gym.
It's these loan companies, nice as pie one minute,
next thing they're calling you up, sending you letters,
but you gotta believe me,
we're going to make a fortune out of that machine.
That machine's a total waste of space, Rob, just like you.
Take James upstairs.
But Mum... Katie, for once, do as you're told.
How could you do this to us? To your own children?
- Your own children? - I'm trying to do the best I can.
Have you got any sense of responsibility?
- Have you heard of communication? - I'm doing the best I can.
- Have you got any sense of responsibility? - You're just like a child!
Hello?
Come on, folks.
Yes?
Good morning, sweetheart. We're here to repossess your belongings.
Love, open up, would ya?
Come on, folks! Don't fuck us about!
Open up, open the door.
Get your stuff.
Morning, Mr. Fitch.
Hey, lads, you're going to be reasonable, yeah?
Certainly, ain't we?
Reasonable's our middle name.
Good, ta.
Can you just read out your court order, just so I know you're not, you know...
Cunts.
Righty-oh.
"By the order of the county court, given this day, 17th of February 2010,
"it is hereby given down that goods to the value of £13,337...
"...William M Janus and granted licence to reposse..."
Are you still there, Mr. Fitch? Hello?
Something's not right here.
All right, my lover? You going to open up? I got sweeties.
Paedo!
- Move! - Garage!
Go!
Come on, open up, you lot. Come on, this is getting stupid now.
Right, fuck this, we're going in.
Hello?
Tell you what... I think it's happened again.
Oh, bugger!
Oh, well.
Fuck it, can't think of everything.
Oh look! They've got one of them there glass swans.
Where to?
My mum used to have one of those. Oh, yeah!
This is a beauty. It's really heavy. Perfectly sculptured. Look at this, bud.
You see, it's the weight of the lead that they put in the crystal, see?
Oh, feel the quality of him.
Oh, yeah, I see where you're coming from, Kev.
Might take this home for my Carol.
I promised Phil some new saucepans.
And a toaster.
You get a better quality of toaster up at this estate.
Well, you know what they're like round here, all fur coat and no knickers.
Nouveau reech, in't it?
Mind you, I wouldn't have done it out like this, would you?
I don't like that paint job at all.
Magnolia and lime? Bollocks!
Time? All that time when those fucking bills were coming in
and you did nothing about it!
How long was that? Cos when I looked at them
I'd say there was a good six, seven months' worth!
It takes time to sort out - you wouldn't let me deal with it!
I know you're not the sharpest tool in the box...
We're not going to sort it out here. Get in the car!
I hate KFC.
What?
Elliot Evans's parents got divorced
and his dad spent every night in KFC.
Then he met this woman and she had a huge problem,
so he tried to help her, and her friend got really angry
and he ended up with only one kneecap.
And now his mum's doing pornos
and his dad's a junkie and he never sees them.
Except on the internet, and then he has to pay for it!
I mean, how unfair is that?
- I never thought you'd fail as a father! - I haven't failed as a father!
You've let your kids down! They're in the car,
all that time when those fucking bills were coming in...
How long was that? Cos when I looked...
I'm so fed up! I can't go on like this, Rob.
I swear to God, I've had it up to here with you.
Drop me and the kids at the airport. I'm going to my mum's.
No!
Get back in the car, Katie!
Mum, we can't afford the flights to Malaga. We're broke!
You want to sleep with your dad on the streets?
It won't come to that!
Well, where else are we going to stay?!
Fix it, Rob.
Or I'm getting in the car and I am leaving with the children.
There is someone we can stay with.
Who?
Good morning, Naomi.
You're looking sexy.
You heard of a shower?
What do you want?
This is difficult, OK? But we've lost our house.
Oh, that was careless.
So what?
We need somewhere to stay.
Your house is pretty empty at the moment.
You're having a fucking laugh.
Yes, Naomi, I'm kidding that my parents have no money, no house
and are about to split up.
I'm sorry, but...
It's not my problem.
Oh, but it is. Cos it's Emily's problem.
She's your girlfriend. That makes it your problem.
No lesbian digs?
That, I can't promise.
I'm gonna sort this.
I'll be back later.
Running away again?
He's gone to look for somewhere to live, actually.
I'm not going in there.
Please, Mum.
You've got nowhere else to go.
Please?
We've run out of cereals.
Garibaldi?
Thank you.
Look at her, swanning about as if she's done nothing wrong.
She hasn't.
I want the best for Emily, and she isn't.
How do you know?
Mums know these things. You'll realise that one day.
Are you really going to leave Dad?
When your dad and I got married, we had nothing.
We spent years working and saving,
so that you kids could have the best of everything. And for what?
It's all gone.
I never thought we'd split up.
But then I never thought I'd be evicted from my home
or that my daughter would be a...
...so rebellious.
People always let you down, princess.
They fuck things up.
Not you, though.
Mum, I need to tell you something.
I know everything's going wrong at the moment but... it's just...
...I went to the doctor's the other day, and...
Fuck's sake.
You could have called.
- You've been out all night. - I know.
Can you blame me? And now they're here. We've got enough problems.
Stop it, Em!
All the shit she put us through, you let her march into our home.
She's your mum. She's a selfish cow, is what she is.
Emily?
Whatever! Stay here.
Don't expect me to care, cos I don't.
It's just for a couple of days while we get ourselves out of this pickle.
Stay out of my way.
This is my house. I live here with my girlfriend.
And we're having a barbecue.
All right?
Whatever you say, love.
I'm going to finish emptying the car.
Wow, isn't this peachy?
Who's got any more pills?
Effy?
Don't you think you've had enough?
Don't think. Makes life much easier.
Naomi, darling?
Got any more of your special powder?
No? Don't, Em.
Where's Cook when you need him, eh?
Somebody phone for more pills.
Another fun day at Mrs. and Mrs. Campbell's.
Come on! What's wrong with everyone?
Turn the music up.
Come on, you boring bastards.
Can I interest you ladies in a "cooked to perfection" burger?
Don't think so.
Hey, babes. Did you miss me?
- D'you want me to ask everyone to leave? - Thanks, Thomas.
What's the point?
It's all fucked anyway.
What the fuck are you doing, Emily?
Emily, fucking stop this shit now!
Naomi, darling, am I making you nice and wet?
Fuck you! This is a fucking pantomime.
Fuck you right back.
Ems, stop it.
Stay out of this.
What? Want to fuck her, is that it?
Maybe I do. So what?
That's enough!
What's this all about?
It's none of your business.
I fucked the dead girl.
I fucked Sophia and gave her the drugs
and now she's punishing me for it.
I knew you'd screw her up.
Hey! Good news, everyone.
I found us a caravan.
What have I missed?
Why don't you all just fuck off?
Look at you.
Pretending to be happy families, pretending to love each other.
Don't you dare speak to me like that.
Get off your high horse.
I can't... I can't be here any more.
Bit melodramatic.
Remind you of anyone?
Stop it!
Come on, son.
Em...
I'm coming, I've just got to... I'll catch up with you.
See ya later!
Merde! Sorry!
Ah! Super merde!
JJ!
Emily!
JJ!
I think they've all gone out.
Bollocks.
You gonna stand there till they get back?
Yes, yes, I'll get you a towel and...
...Putain!
Just sit down.
Bit of a pickle!
Do you think I'm a bitch, Thomas?
I think you are Katie. You should always be you.
You're strong and...
I'm just too aggressive, just like my fucking mum.
I know it. I am a bitch.
Everyone relies on you to tell the truth, Katie.
They need you.
That thing you do - is it for real?
What thing?
The lovely honourable thing.
I'm not.
I screw up so often.
Panda, college...
...everything.
Right now I'm Monsieur Screw.
D'you fancy me?
Just checking.
Of course.
I can't have kids.
They say I can't have kids...
...ever.
And you're sad?
You think maybe no man will ever want you?
But I am a man, and I think you're a beautiful, magnificent woman.
Panda was an idiot not to forgive you.
I was the idiot.
I wasn't honourable.
We can be friends.
Yes, I'd like that.
Me too.
Give me five minutes.
Mum?
Mum... I can't have children.
I went to the doctor's yesterday and they said there's nothing they can do.
I wanted to tell you, but you were too busy shouting.
It's all about you.
I don't want to let you down,
but you let me down.
I really needed you and you weren't there.
My baby girl.
It doesn't matter, Mum.
The house and the money. I don't want it.
I'm not going to be you.
I just want a mum who loves me, no matter what.
I do love you, no matter what.
I'm so sorry.
And we love you, Mum.
So appreciate us.
Stop trying to push us away.
Jen.
I love you.
You stupid bastard!
I'm sorry.
They're using tongues and everything.
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