[heart monitor beeping]
[Music]
Hey, Yuppies.
Yuppies!
What happened?
Oh, my God.
You're awake.
You were in a coma since 1986.
Yuppies.
We're foodies.
Absolutely.
Yuppies.
Hello.
Look at you.
Yuppies.
No, we're yogies.
Yogies.
Yuppies! Yuppies!
It's a Corgi.
How big is this Yuppy part of town.
Town?
I mean ... The whole world's like this.
Oh.
Ah.
[Music]
What happened?
How could people let this happen?
Look, look.
We're drumming.
Come on.
What up? Come on.
[Drumming] No more yuppies.
Die, yuppie scum.
No more yuppies.
Die yuppy scum. No more yuppies.
I thought it was two no more yuppies.
Okay.
Right?
A one and a two and a --
[Instrumental music]
Lance.
What?
Can I talk to you for a minute?
What do you want, Nina?
Would you mind taking that off
so I can look at you in the eye?
I think that my body's changing.
Do you remember I woke up crying and then like I went
to sleep and then I was laughing and then
I'm having all these emotions.
Then, I yelled at you and then you yelled at me,
and then I cried again.
I think I'm pregnant.
No.
I've never gotten anyone pregnant.
I can't.
My guts are like moving around.
I think my fingers are getting fatter.
Your fingers look exactly the same.
They've always been huge.
I can't even close my hands.
Remember when I dropped all those marbles that I was
trying to show you?
I've never gotten anyone pregnant.
Ask anyone.
Ask Jessica.
Ask Amanda.
Ask Tonya.
Ask Alice.
Ask Corinne.
Ask any of my exes.
I'm the pullout king.
I don't get no one pregnant.
That's your reaction to me telling you this emotional
thing is I should go around town asking for the --
what, what did you call it the pullout king?
Say, hey, do you guys know who the pullout king is?
They'll be like, yeah.
Compared to who?
There's no other guys when there's a king.
I don't want the neighbors to hear.
You think they don't know I'm the pullout king?
Rick.
Who's the pullout king?
You are.
That's right.
The whole city knows.
Well how come I don't know that?
You don't know I'm in and you don't know when I'm out
because I'm that good.
How about the time in the backyard?
How about in here just to keep our surprise and
lowered myself down about half inch.
I pulled out.
I don't know what happened, but I'm definitely pregnant.
Let's just ... let's go take care of it.
No, wait Lance.
What?
If I'm pregnant, I want to keep it.
What?
Maybe he'll look like you and have a little mustache.
I think I'm going to be a working mother.
And I think you should be a stay at home dad.
I don't see myself as a dad.
That's why I pull out.
Yeah, we are, and it's stressing me out.
Sorry.
I'm the pullout king.
We could call him Glenn Danzig.
I'm the pullout king.
Or Glenda Danziga if it's a girl.
[marching band music]
When I say prairie, you say home.
Prairie.
Home.
Prairie.
Home.
When I say Garrison, you say Keillor.
Garrison.
Keillor.
Garrison.
Keillor.
Whew.
Hey, we saw a really good companion up in Seattle, and
he's up there selling a good Minnesota story.
Guess who walks on stage?
You will not believe this.
Terry Gross.
Two people in our row passed out.
People were fainting.
Some people peed their pants.
It went late.
I mean, we're talking 9:30.
I tried to take a picture, took out my phone, and it
fell into my sleeve.
Saw a good jug band.
Oh, you know who it was?
It was Old Crow Medicine Show.
Yes.
Ah.
Those guys rip.
How about it?
Just a --.
You know what? It's hard core soothing.
All right, you guys first.
It's Yerba mate, I snuck it through customs.
Don't tell anyone.
Need your fix?
Careful, this has a bite to it.
Oh.
Oh, uh.
We're looking at the spot.
It's a good spot.
You guys are doing a good job.
Oh my God.
You almost got, you almost said something?
The guys was like duh.
Everyone.
[radio broadcast] Now his collapse is being seen as an example
of the decline of Brazil's economic fortunes.
His father was minister of my --
It's South America.
What was then the state run --
That will never change.
The younger --
You guys ever met Peter Segal?
He looks exactly like what you think he looks like.
Yeah.
Ah, ah, ah!
So for this soup, I'm going to give you some secrets.
Don't steal 'em from me or steal and pass them on.
I don't care.
Just warm it up really -- you want to really low
flame.
I mean you want it so you want it off.
I like to call it just for this, uh,
a puree home comp onion.
[music playing] Going bananas, look at'em.
You're insane.
Lunatic.
Turn it up, up, up.
[music playing]
Hon.
You fell asleep.
Uh-huh.
It's time to go in and see the concert.
Uh-huh.
Maybe you just partied too hard.
Lay down with me.
Honey, it's not time to do any romance.
I want to get in there and see the show.
Come here.
[Snoring]
Welcome to Pet Haven. What's up?
I'm Jamie.
And we got a lot of dogs up for adoption,
and look who's back?
Rascal, an award winning King Charles Spaniel.
Where's your award?
Show us the award.
What are you doing?
A bird went right into that bird house right there, and
I'm not kidding.
No, it didn't.
There's a sort of finch-like bird --
Nope.
That sticks his head through and curiously like looks up
and then goes back in.
I'm going to have the last laugh
at the wrap party for this.
It's going to be funny as hell because you guys are
We have ... we're going to have a projector there,
right?
Can we make this about Rascal?
And the screen?
Can we make this about Rascal?
What? The wrap party?
Hey, Nina.
Great to see you.
Good to see you.
This is Lance.
Remember, I was telling you about.
Nice to meet ya.
He's a stay at home dad, and I just wanted you guys to
get to know each other.
Hi, Chuck.
You guys talk.
Well, congratulations on becoming a father, Lance.
I'm kind of known as the pullout king.
I really doubt this is my baby so after a paternity
test, I'm sure I'm not going to be holding a toy and --
Don't you like toys?
Yeah, I like my motorcycle.
I have a two door Rav 4.
Do you mind?
Ah, oh wow.
His little nose and little eyes.
Is he wearing contact lenses?
Hey, Wolfie, do you want to tell Lance about the trains?
You know, kid, I shouldn't even be here.
I'm kind of the pullout king.
What's that?
The train goes in the tunnel.
Right before the steam's going to come out of the
train, pulls out.
He's kind of going through a thing and like it's hard,
like I'm like a mother, and there's like a boyfriend,
and he's mad and the house, and there's like a million
I'm even getting emotional right now, but at the same
time I'm just euphoric.
Hey Lance, I think you should grow your hair out so
you could maybe be part of the braid train.
It's more like a circle jerk to me, but
I'm the pullout king so shouldn't be here.
Oh, man.
You should probably see this.
What?
Pullout king?
Who is this guy?
I am pullout king.
They call me of course the pullout king because
of these, um, sofas, that pullout into a bed.
Love seat, sectional, leather, modern, classic,
contemporary, and all pullouts, and um, we're
having a sale that may seem counterintuitive that I'm
here trying to broadcast this news and making it our
little secret.
In fact, um, not everybody knows about this, and um
nor should they.
It's a sale.
I am the pullout king.
Lance.
Where is he?
Where's the imposter?
Lance.
Hey, hey.
Are you okay, Jason?
What'd you do to Jason?
There can only be one pullout king,
and that's me, buddy.
I've been pulling out on women for years and never
gotten anybody, anybody pregnant.
You're talking about, uh, we hardly know each other, but
this is ... you're talking about something rather, um
personal and intimate.
You, you, you pull out.
Retreat, you know, back into the turtle shell.
Turtle back into the shell.
And I'm the pond.
Listen, here's the story okay?
It turns out that I maybe, um, pregnant with child.
Congratulations.
Thank you very much.
Congratulations.
You have limited space?
We just live in like one bedroom so we don't have a
What if the one bedroom becomes a nursery.
Follow me here if you will, and the living room --
what if that became your bedroom in which you could put
something larger than you've ever had?
Oh, of course, it pulls out so the living room could
still be a living room in the daytime where you have a
lovely couch.
How would that even work?
Here it is.
This is our kind of, you know, signature piece
because ... there he goes.
Thank you.
Thank you, Jason.
Wow.
I present the pullout king.
I think it's just so helpful to be in a place width wise
where you can be entirely snuggled as tighter than two --
Bears?
In a --
Tree?
Okay.
Yeah.
We could just squeeze that right into the house just
barely.
It's nice and big like the ripped cushions.
Aha, there she goes.
Look at that.
Hey, here I come.
Here I come.
I don't have to.
Want to take a picture?
Aw, it's cute.
I'll write to her tomorrow.
Rebecca's moving to New Orleans.
She's so crazy to me.
Did you guys see that Nate and Pam had their kid?
Ah.
I have to respond to that.
Just get it over with.
I just write what a cutie.
I want to write something thoughtful and drawn out.
You get a limited window to do it.
I have a year.
That's for a wedding present.
Tonight.
I'm going to do it tonight or tomorrow.
Oh, she's so little.
You're just a little baby.
You're so cute just like a little baby.
[Knocking]
Hello.
Oh, hi.
I just want to drop off a little congratulatory gift
for you baby.
Baby?
Matthew, I think is the name.
That's me.
What?
Is your name James?
Yes.
I've heard about you.
When I sent the e-mail, you don't respond for weeks and
weeks and weeks.
Sorry. I'm sorry.
Now, you come to my doorstep ten years later.
You might as well come to my grave.
Might as well.
Wow.
Uh, I'm really sorry.
I feel really bad.
Wow.
You're kidding, Right?
My inbox kept pushing that birth announcement lower and
lower on my e-mail.
This happened and then I tried to make a file that
said reply immediately, and then I immediately forgot
about that folder.
Let me explain something.
When your best friends have a baby,
Yes.
You buy the gift, put it by your bedside so when you
wake up, you pick it up, go to the house the next day,
not ten years later, give it to them like here you go,
baby, when I'm clearly not a baby, and if I am,
I'm Godzilla's baby, and on the bag next time maybe
have a card on the front.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
I just had so much to do.
I was swamped.
Well, you were busy, huh?
Here, let me just check your tweets.
TGIF.
Who's up for happy hour?
I'm at LAX.
I mean, we're out partying having a good time.
No baby.
What have you been up to for the last ten years?
Well, in kindergarten, I did pretty good.
I never got cut by the safety scissors.
Yeah, and I got a dog for my birthday a few months ago.
Okay, so --
And a cat, fish.
What have you been up to for the last ten years?
Been doing a lot, you know, walking around you know,
work.
other then that, just you know, biking around, walking
around, driving around a little bit.
[Instrumental music]
Hi there.
I'm here to see Shawn Davis.
Right, but if you circle back to those June
statements, you're going to see that what we actually
did there was roll it over into the next
fiscal quarter.
That way we'll be able to hold onto that 7.3 percent.
Yeah.
It's a W4 actually and not a We.
This is going to be awhile.
See ya.
Okay.
What band is he in?
Oh, he's a tax lawyer.
Oh yeah, that's the name of the band?
Tax lawyer?
Fred, seriously. He's not in a band.
It's awesome.
He works in an office.
He wears a suit.
He works 9 to 5.
And you like this?
I actually kind of love it.
Whoa.
Being passionate about anything is sexy.
Carrie, I don't know this about you.
All right.
How's that girl you're dating?
Oh, she's insane.
What's her name?
She won't tell me.
I had fun last night.
Oh.
Yeah, me too.
Yeah.
It was a good time.
Hard Rock Café Portland.
Yeah.
Didn't even know we had one.
Oh, I have something to show you.
[guitar playing]
Do you like?
Hold on.
It's a bass guitar.
I have to dump him.
I was going to have him do my taxes.
This is a slippery slope.
A bass is a gateway instrument.
His role was to be the tax guy,
and I like that about him.
We have to save this guy.
We have to just get some friends together
and get in there.
I mean, it takes effort if it matters to you.
We're concerned, and we uh, just want you to be able to
see the other side of things a little bit.
Is this about the bass?
Did you show up in ... near the bed with your bass
playing it plugged in without a shirt and wearing
a hat?
That was my look at that moment.
Yeah.
Hi, Shawn.
I have a band called St. Vincent.
I tour.
I'm a professional musician.
When I was little, I loved Lauren Hill, right?
Everybody ... miseducation, who hasn't heard that
record?
It's great.
Where is she right now?
In the news.
In jail for tax evasion.
You think she had a good tax lawyer behind her?
He's probably playing bass in her band.
You know, without the right representation, the right
people taking, you know, keeping tabs of all the
money coming in, it could go right out.
My name's Duff McKagan, played with Guns N' Roses
and Velvet Revolver.
Yeah.
When Carrie told me I had an opportunity to come here to
your office, I jumped at the chance.
What's important is you stay doing what you do.
The logistics, I don't understand.
I go out and tour.
I don't know what the hell I'm doing.
My tax lawyer comes into my life.
Every thing's suddenly clear, and my taxes are
paid.
There's enough bass players out there, Shawn.
It's a lot to take in, I'll be honest.
The bass, when I bought it, because I used their credit
card at Sam Ash.
I don't know what their return policy is.
Man, you start talking about the bass we check out.
Uh-huh.
on it, and it's ... it ... on a 1099 spreadsheet, one of
the things that you want to look for is to make sure
that they filled in everything correctly and put
in all their dependents.
Oh.
You're a one man show.
You're your own rock star.
And dude, guy to guy, she likes you so you gotta,
gotta go about it and do what she wants you to do.
Yeah.
--.
Every thing's all right, right?
What I can do is a mid quarter conversion and we'll
wipe that slate clean.
[applause]
Oh, you bet.
I've never seen anything like this.
Yeah.
I'll talk to you later, guy.
[applause]
Employee work status form 239-B.
Fax.
Send a fax.
[Instrumental music]
[Horn]
Nina, couch is here.
All right.
Oh.
This is big.
Yep.
We want it.
Lance.
Look at our couch.
Oh, it's big and hardly fits.
Um, I think I'm not pregnant.
What?
I kind of just had my period.
What about your intestines moving around
and your big hands?
Guess I just ate a bad burrito or something when we
went to that Mexican place.
I guess maybe you are the pullout king.
I don't know, I'm kind of bummed.
I didn't want to be the pullout king anymore.
I was ready to give up the throne.
Want to try having a family some other time?
How about right now?
You know, when you talk like that, it really turns me on.
I kind of like imagining you as a dad, pipe in your mouth.
Yeah, big old pipes.
Pipes.
Smoking hot pipe.
Taking care of little baby.
We're at a concert or something or at a show and
putting a little rock T-shirt on this little cute
little thing from some little band or something
or like from a record label from a long time ago or something
I just like to take care of it and teach him how to use
tools.
This couch might pull out sort of, but I'm not going
to pull out at all.
Lance, really?
Uh-huh.
You want your kingdom to be in here?
Yeah, populated.
I want you to push your mustache all over me.
I will put this mustache all over you.
I mean everywhere on this couch
which looks really nice.
I like how you put it in here, and it's not
coming out.
[cat screaching] [glass breaking]
Don't tip it over You're going to hit the
wall.
Lets get out money's worth.
Watch your balls.
Ow.
You just really ... Hold on.
I can't.
You kicked me right in the chin.
I did?
Okay.
Just so you know.
I think it's that bad burrito still.
I'm so close right now.
Can you be here?
I'm going to come to you and I'm going to cum in you.
What the, why did you want to kick me?
[cat screaching] [glass breaking]
Oh.
I'm great I'm so turned...
[Music] "I want you to have my baby
my baby
my baby"
Anyway, we're across from a lovely cemetery,
which is ... I like.
Don't be alarmed by that.
There's nothing about the fleeting aspect of life,
that the cemetery always reminds us of ... that is ... that
there's something about that that can be enlightening,
but you go ooh, boy.
That's where I'm going to wind up whether I have a big
pullout bed or not.
I am the pullout king.