[Gus] Mmm.
[groans]
- Good morning. [chuckles softly] - Good morning.
Oh, God, I've got bad morning breath.
I don't care. I like your morning breath.
- I like yours, too. - Yeah? [chuckles]
- Is that gross? - Mnh-mnh.
- Are we totally gross? - No.
I missed you.
- When? - While we were asleep.
I missed you in sleep.
Oh, my God. You're such a little mush.
[Gus] You're the mush. You just don't want to admit it.
- [Mickey chuckles] - [groaning]
[yawns] I gotta wake up.
[groans] Waking up sucks!
Hey, so, what's the plan for tonight?
'Cause I was just thinking about going from work to the bowling alley.
Does that work for you?
Yeah, I figure we could just meet Syd and Jeff there.
Hey, Mickey. Quick question. Is one of my balls hanging out?
- No. - Thank you. I appreciate your honesty.
- I think that's what makes this work. - Yep.
- [gasps] - [exclaims]
- You! - [chuckles]
[groans] I have to get ready!
Are you hungry? Do you want me to make you some breakfast?
[gasps] Would you make me a blanket burrito?
Oh, do you want a little breakfast blanket burrito?
One order coming right up.
- [Mickey shouts] - [both laugh]
Oh, somebody's hungry for a little breakfast burrito, sizzle, sizzle.
- Want salsa on it? - Mm-hmm.
Sour cream?
Little egg?
[Mickey] Mmm.
Micks, you're wearing my shirt.
Yes! I saw it in the dryer, and I thought it looked so cute.
Is that okay?
It's great because I've actually been looking all over for it,
and now I know exactly where it is.
Yep. There it is.
- Yeah. - Yeah. [chuckles]
Whoa! Did any of you guys hear those cats fighting outside last night, man?
What? No.
They woke me up. They were so loud. These cats were hashing it out.
Cats can get pretty noisy.
[Randy] You're telling me.
That's my fruit.
It's really good. Thanks.
Cats are weird, man. Did I tell you about my cat Zip?
This one time, I thought she was fighting this other cat.
I went to tear 'em apart, but it turns out Zip was having sex.
Yes, you've shared that gem before.
When I pulled my hand away, it was covered in all this weird goo.
Great. I can start my day now that I've heard about cat jizz.
- Well... - Can you move in a little?
All right.
- Squeeze play. - [Gus and Randy chuckle]
Man. Who shoved a pole up her ass today?
- Don't say that. - That's not fair.
Okay, sorry.
- Have a good day. - Bye.
- Bye.
See you, dude.
- [laughs] - I'm kidding!
[theme music playing]
Where are we?
[Brooklyn] The basement of the old department store.
Hey, guys. This way. In here.
Are you sure we're safe here?
I promised I'd keep you safe, right? So, yeah, we're safe.
- [roaring] - [all screaming]
[panting]
You're all witnesses. The...
[laughs] I'm sorry. I can't. All this blood all over your face, dude.
[Evan] Arya, you're doing great.
Annie, we have to get this while the blood looks fresh.
- [Annie] Sorry. - Jesus!
Stay in the scene so we don't have to do it again.
Fuck! What was my line?
"You're all witnesses. That means we're all in this together."
We're all in this together.
"We're all witnesses!"
[sighs]
We're all witnesses. That—
[laughs] I'm sorry, I can't! It's coming out of your nose.
It's funny. It's good.
- Say your fucking line! - Oh, my God. Okay? Chill out.
Jesus! Cut!
[Evan] Cut! We are resetting! All teams in here please.
Arya, you cannot call cut!
Whatever, I just did it! This is a continuity nightmare!
[Evan] Let's go, everybody! Move in here.
Look at my aunt. It's our first day back at work. She's already stressed.
- She'll catch shingles again. - She must be stressed with this retool.
- [Wyatt] Hey! - Ow! What?
Don't say the word "retool," okay? It's a reimagining.
Very important to Susan.
No, it's called "doing everything not to get canceled."
They're putting the show in present day,
adding teenagers and monsters.
Are you serious? I love the changes. Arya, playing her own granddaughter,
fighting monsters in the present day. That rules.
When they said mummy, I got, like, super excited.
Can I borrow your pom-poms when you're done waving 'em around like a cheerleader?
Susan Cheryl's not around to hear you kiss her ass.
Oh, my God. Whatever.
I guess I could be negative like you guys, but I don't know,
my thing is if you put posi-hivity out into the world,
then you get positivity back.
- What's "posi-hivity"? - "Posi-hivity"!
I misspoke. You know what I meant. I said "positivity."
You distinctly said "posi-hivity."
- How should we know what that means? - I heard it.
[Gus] You knew what I meant.
If you imagine you want a good parking spot, you'll get one.
You don't have to explain positivity to me, dude.
I spent $100 on mindfulness apps. I know what I'm doing.
[Kevin] Fuck the haters, man.
[Gus] No, it's fine.
- Can you keep a secret? - What's going on?
This is my last teaching job.
Look around. See the show we're making?
- This is everybody's last job. - I'm serious.
Six more months of kids neglecting me while I teach the US Constitution,
- and I'm out. - Sound like a solid plan.
- Oh! I'll be right back. - Cool.
- Evan. - I don't have time right now.
I know. I wanted to get you something. A little welcome-back present.
- Wow! - They're noise-canceling headphones.
Next time you're sick of hearing me, you can pop those on.
Thanks. This gift is really intense.
Oh. Well, you're welcome. I just... I wanted to start off on the right foot.
- Cool. - Cool.
- Thanks, man. - Yeah.
- All right. - All right.
Okay, we're gonna have a good six months.
Okay.
Fuck me.
Would you wanna do as a topic,
when that girl talked about getting horny while on her period?
- I loved that. It's true. I do. - Me, too. Nobody talks about it.
Sounds like some real feminism at work here, huh?
Whoo! Getting that millennial perspective, right?
Uh... Or when that woman talked about
how her husband can't get hard on their honeymoon.
- We could turn that into something. - That could be a whole episode on—
I'm doing a thing on impotence today. You might wanna steer clear of that.
Well, actually, we talked about it on our show first, so...
So, what? You don't own impotence.
- No, but I heard that you do. - [chuckles]
[chuckles]
Fuck.
Relax! There's gonna be some crossover with our shows. It's fine.
Apparently, there's a lot!
Last week, I did a whole thing on withholding orgasms.
I tune into your show the next day, big surprise.
"Today's topic: Withholding orgasms."
Or whatever you called it. "When Your Bae Won't Cum."
So you think that we're stealing from you?
I'll just say this. If imitation is the highest form of flattery,
well, then I'm very flattered. Okay?
All righty. You have to keep this between you and me for now.
Oh, juicy.
Starting next week, Dr. Greg's show is going from two hours to one.
- Be nice. Okay. - Sorry.
- It's just cut in half. Wow. Okay. - Yeah.
And that hour is going to another show.
Your show! Yours! Stella's!
- What? Really? - It's great. It's the best news ever.
Wow!
Does Greg know yet?
No. I like to give the good news first. Warms me up for the bad news.
- Do you want me to tell him? - You don't mind?
Do I mind telling Greg I'm taking an hour from him?
No, not at all.
Hey, I'm Jayke. I'm from Texas. I'm excited to be part of the show.
I love clothes. I also love music. I write it.
[Gus] All right. Cool. That's great. Jayke.
Now you just toss that ball. Just toss it to somebody.
Marina. I'm from Vancouver.
I don't know. Brooklyn's teaching me how to drive.
- It's not going amazing. - Yeah. You suck.
I wouldn't talk. You ran over a cat.
- [all] Oh... - What?
- [all laugh] - [Gus] Uh-oh.
- Arya? - I'm Arya.
And as someone who has been in Gus' classes before,
I can tell you that we do not do anything here.
We just waste time until we're needed on set.
And since this is not a real school, it does not matter if you try or not.
- [Gus] Not funny. Yeah. - Damn.
Good to know.
Wait. Who has read the script for the next episode?
Yeah, I read it. There's, like, flying and stuff, right?
Bunch of wires.
We all get to fly?
Yeah, everyone gets to fly except Arya.
Doesn't matter. I've done wires before. It's a pain in the ass.
I had to do it three days in a row on Liberty Down.
Very subtle name-drop on the big movie you were in.
Hey.
"I'm Arya. I had to do this movie Liberty Down.
- God, it sucked." - Okay, guys, all right.
"I had to work with Brad. Bradley Cooper. But he's really nice.
He's, like, so cool. We text all the time." [babbling]
Enough goofing around. I'm a goofball too, but let's not be disrespectful.
If all of our characters get to fly, why doesn't Arya's?
Susan said it's because my character's still too young.
She hasn't developed all her "witch" powers.
- That makes sense. - Oh, my God...
Okay. All right. Let's leave Arya alone for a second
and just jump into some math.
Hey. Uh...
- Truman said you wanted to see me. - You're gonna wanna shut the door.
Yeah. Okay. Sure.
- Have a seat. - Okay.
What's going on?
- They're cutting an hour from your show. - Wait. Why? Who said?
The bosses from Subzero in New York.
There's no warning? I lose an hour? Who's getting it?
Okay. Here's where it gets awkward. Me and Stella.
- What? Fuck off now! - [Mickey] Okay!
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Oh.
- I get it. [sighs] - Get what?
I knew this was gonna happen. I saw all the signs.
- It all started with the posters. - The posters?
My poster was the first thing you saw when you came into the office.
Then it was replaced by Stella's poster, and now, it's next to the bathroom.
Ten feet away from a fucking toilet!
I think you're being paranoid.
Congratulations, Mickey. You have taken an hour away from me.
- I didn't take your hour away. - You didn't?
No, your ratings have been dropping for months.
- I'm sorry! It's not my fault. - See you later.
You never listen to me! I tried to tell you.
You gotta switch it up. No more canned calls.
Then you'd go, "No, you get on the phone and—"
You win! You win!
Have fun winning the rest of your very short life
after you relapse!
[door slams]
That was amazing.
On behalf of the office, I wanna thank you.
- I think he lost the rest of his hair. - He did not take that well.
Your energy's weird. I'm gonna go.
- Okay. - Okay.
Uh-huh. Yeah. I agree. I agree 100%.
I don't like that idea, but I agree with the first thing you said.
I mean, we can try it.
- [clears throat] - If it doesn't work, we cut it. Right?
[laughs]
Yeah. Okay. All right. Will do.
Bye.
[imitates gunshot]
What were we talking about?
Oh! Right, right. Um...
I need you to start coming in earlier to teach. Like, six a.m.
We have so many kids and have to start front-loading our days.
Yeah. No, I wanna make you happy.
So, whatever I can do to be of value to you...
Your value is that you're a pushover who doesn't get in my way.
Don't fuck up your best quality.
[door opens]
Okay.
Can I borrow her for a second?
All right.
- Do you want this open— - Closed.
- Jesus. - Jesus Christ.
What the fuck?
- He got me a gift. Headphones. - What?
Like it's our anniversary.
- [Susan] God, he triggers me. - [Evan] Yeah.
[Susan] Something about his face.
[Evan] For me, it's his voice. He's just such a cloying, needy little...
[groans]
Hey.
Tough first day, huh?
You've had a bad day? I'm stuck in this shithole.
God, they won't let me do a voice on Trolls 2.
You know, Arya, just some friendly advice.
You should be more grateful for everything you got.
I'm the asshole for not appreciating my money?
Jesus, have you seen the other kids? I'm a parent's dream compared to them.
In a month, they're all gonna be living at Charlie Sheen's house.
- Pretty sweet setup. I'd take it. - [car horn honks]
[Gus] Whoa!
Hey, honey. Sorry, I'm late. They kept me at the gate.
Oh... Cool new car.
The studio gave it to her.
They want her to do the Liberty Down sequel.
The movie hasn't come out yet, and it's testing off the charts.
But you're not old enough to drive.
It's not like they'd give me a bike.
Okay. Well, you have fun in this dope new ride.
Can't wait to see you behind the wheel when you turn 16.
I won't drive a two-year-old car.
We'll donate it to Planned Parenthood.
[Denise] Buckle up, babe.
Let's go.
- Bye, Gus. - Bye.
[engine revs]
[cell phone vibrating]
♪ Party people Your dreams have now been fulfilled ♪
♪ Get your ass up, and let's get ill ♪
♪ That's right, y'all We're more than rough ♪
♪ We callin' your bluff ♪
- ♪ And when it comes to rhymes ♪ - ♪ Yo! ♪
[man over radio] I recognize it's a little confusing
for somebody to follow my filmography because, say, you really think
The Grinch or Willow is a blast and a great fantasy movie or something,
- how are you gonna feel about Frost/Nixon? - [man 2] Right.
[hip-hop music continues playing]
[sighs]
- [chattering] - [hip-hop music playing]
- Hi, guys! - Hey, girl!
- Hey. Aw. - Hey!
I'm so happy we're doing this.
- Hi. - Hi. Good to see you.
Can't believe how fast I got here. I thought it'd be forever,
but today everything was a green light.
It was like bing, bing, bing.
- We did the HOV lane, so... [swooshes] - [Mickey chuckles]
Honey, Jeff, I'm not trying to embarrass you...
But you're gonna.
Why the shorts?
[Jeff] We're playing sports.
Let's just... Anytime we leave the house, big boy pants. Just as a rule. Okay?
[car chirps]
Do you remember when people used to wear bowling shoes out? Like it was a thing?
[Syd] Totally. I was always too scared to steal bowling shoes.
- My thing was I used to steal meat. - [Mickey laughs]
When I first met him, I had a sausage stuffed in my leggings.
- Hey! - Hey!
- Hi! - Hi, Gus-Gus.
- Hello. Hello. Hi. - Hey, buddy.
- Hello. - Hey!
Get that outta there. Come here.
- Good to see you. - Good to see you, too.
Sorry I'm late.
There was work and traffic... I hope you weren't waiting for me.
It's cool.
- We weren't waiting. - [Gus] Good.
- Should we do it? Let's bowl! - Let's do it.
- Get your shoes. - My shoes!
[Syd] All right. You go, girl.
[Syd] What?
[screams]
What are you talking about?
♪ Come on, think about it ♪
♪ Sometimes I hate that you know me so well ♪
♪ Some days I wish that I wasn't myself ♪
- ♪ No ♪ - ♪ No luck ♪
- ♪ No ♪ - ♪ And I hate that you know me so well ♪
♪ Sometimes I hate that you know me so well ♪
♪ Sometimes I hate that you know me so well... ♪
Whoo!
Fuck you! Fuck you! I'm gonna do it!
Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! Yeah! Whoo!
Syd! Thanks for asking us to hang. This is so much fun.
Oh, my God! Are you kidding me? Thank you. You make us feel cool.
It's mutually beneficial. You make us feel like a grown-up couple.
Oh, I know. Us on a couples' night with a married couple?
I think we're doing good.
How long has it been now?
What has it been? Like, five, six months.
I don't know. I've been sober for three, so...
We've known each other five or six months.
We've been boyfriend-girlfriend for a couple months.
So you're in the best part.
Everybody knows that the best part of any relationship is six months in,
because then you're not freaked out because you know you like each other.
everything's still new, ad the sex is really hot.
I would say that we're in the part right before the best part.
- Which is maybe the best part. - Mmm.
I wanna punch you guys so hard in the face.
[both laugh]
- Eight pins, guys. - What?
Eight pins.
- You bowled? - My turn.
Hey, I need to go.
Oh! Mickey, I forgot to tell you.
I listened to Stella's show, and it was awesome!
Thank you, sweetie.
Yeah, did you guys know? Mickey's killing it at work. Big time.
[Syd] Good for you!
Thanks. Yeah, it's funny how things are weirdly working out.
I thought it was cool to fail.
People who tried at work were losers, but I am now. I don't care.
This is the most success I've had, and I love my job.
- Congratulations on being a big loser. - [Mickey laughs]
[ball rolling in gutter]
All right!
- Okay. - Hey!
Gus, how's work?
- Great! Work's... Yeah, it's really great. - Cool.
Oh, my God! I got a strike!
- Fuck, yeah! Whoo! - What?
[chuckles]
So, Mickey says that you've been writing some screenplays?
Yeah, I'm tryin'. It's a little tough to break in, but I try.
What's one of your faves?
I guess the one I just wrote, yeah. The idea was...
Well, I really like erotic thrillers,
but one thing that's a bummer about those
is that they're usually racist or sexist or just problematic.
So what I'd like to do
is try to bring the erotic thriller into a new era.
- It's cool, Gus. - Yeah.
[Mickey speaking indistinctly]
Cruikshank. This is Evan. I need you to call me back pronto.
As in not two hours from now. Got it? Thank you.
It's your turn, Gus.
- It's your turn. - Oh. Yeah. Great.
Get 'em, Gus!
Knock those pins! Yeah!
Whoa!
- Yes! Yes! - [Syd] Whoa!
Fuck, yes!
- [Mickey] All right. - We should do this again sometime.
- Definitely. - That was fun.
Okay. All right.
- [Syd] Okay. - [Mickey] See you at the house?
- I'll be right behind you. - Bye!
I'll call you.
[line ringing]
[Evan] Um, wow. Thanks for calling me back late, dude.
Yeah, sure.
I know you're supposed to have the day off tomorrow, but that plan is fucked.
We need you to come in for the six a.m. Classes.
Is that gonna be a problem?
Nope. Totally cool.
- Thank you. - Bye-bye!
- Get your beauty rest. - [clicks]
Fucking piece of shit. Fuckhead.
[loud rock music playing]
- [tires screech] - [horn honks]
Asshole! Look around you!
Was he texting? Motherfucker was texting! Fuck!
Hi, Grandpa.
- [clicks] - [hip-hop music playing]
- ♪ Oh, shit ♪ - ♪ Oh, shit ♪
♪ Oh, shit ♪
- ♪ Oh, shit ♪ - ♪ No! ♪
♪ Oh, shit ♪
♪ Oh! Little Sally Walker Sittin' in a saucer ♪
♪ Oh, how I tossed that ass up ♪
♪ Like a mission in the woods Woody Woodpecker would... ♪
Dipshit!
Dipshit, roll down your window!
What's the problem?
You cut me off! You were looking in your phone!
I glanced at my phone. My wife texted me.
That was not a glance! You were looking at it!
I watched you through my window staring at it!
Fuck off, man!
You realize you're not alone on this planet, right?
You realize you share this planet with other fucking human beings.
You should be considerate of other fucking—
You're oblivious! Don't turn away! Don't roll up that window!
[muffled] Don't you fucking roll that window...
Roll down that window! Roll back down that fucking window!
I'll fuck your wife!
♪ One fine summertime Sunday evening ♪
♪ Crenshaw Blvd. Was in full swing ♪
♪ Perfect example Of how looks can be deceiving ♪
♪ Rolled up to what I thought was A pretty young thing ♪
♪ Rollin' in a purple Samurai Suzuki ♪
♪ Dookie braids was an aid To her sex appeal... ♪
[horn honks]
Fuck!
Ah!
- [tires screech] - [truck horn blaring]
[panting]
- [man] Moron, get out of the fucking road! - What?
Oh, fuck. Oh, God.
Fuck.
Hey.
- Where have you been? What took so long? - I just stopped off at the store.
Little traffic, so...
But...
Got you some ice cream.
- Got a little ice cream for my Micks. - Aw.
- You're the best. - No, I'm not.
[both] Mmm...
I went to the grocery store,
and they didn't have the mint chocolate ice cream,
so I went to another grocery store.
And on the way, there was traffic
at one of those sobriety checkpoint things...
I'm familiar.
Yeah, then there was construction, and I was trying to get here,
and they rerouted me because my regular route I couldn't do,
and it was one of those frustrating nights.